life changing event

The day that change my life was when i was little i been trick 11 years of my life .The way i got trick is by my mom lying to me by not telling me who is my real father. I found out that the guy that is living in my house is not my real father i though he was i though were the same blood.The way i found out is by my cousin and aunt they just threw it of like that.''Bank'' they just threw it on my face.but i didn't cry because i though that they were just playing or lying to me .so i was like wanting to cry and at the same time hold it in.

It hurt me really bad but i hold on my tears from falling. Then i decided to ask my mom if it was true so the day the minute and the hour had come i was 12 years old she was sleeping i went up to her and woke her up and said mommy i need to talk to you about my father,but she though i was talking about that guy that lived in my house.and then out of no were i say who is my real father suddenly she got up quickly and said what did you say and i repeat me self and said who is my real father and she lied and said your father is working.then i told her no he is not with a tears dropping out my eye .

Then she says why are you crying she said and i told her i am crying because i am confused i don't know who is my real father. Then she starts telling me and says this is going to be really strong for you but your father is not working,then she slowly says your father is dead.then my heart starts to beep fast and my tears starts dripping one by one,trying to take a deep breath and then i start asking my mom questions how he die, she said to much drugs and Alchole. and then i asked her when he died she said January 7,1994 before i was born.

After that day all i do is cry at nights and some times cut my self, also my behavior changed i started been bad but then i stopped in eight grade which is now because i am trying to graduate. but the cutting and crying hasn't change for nothing. Some times i try to kill my self just too go see my father and to meet him and to be with him.and some times cutting takes the pain away and every time i remember my moms words when she told me had passed out but my relation ship with my step father changed i hardly trust him and talk to him, and that's how its going to be because i just don't see him as my father